Tuesday, August 14, 2007

It's Been Rough...

I've been quiet for a while.

Here's the scoop. Everybody's finally fine. Garland just finished his three month treadmill test and his cardiologist is very pleased. He had a little angina (still has some blockages), but his doc said that everything is moving the right direction. Dad came out the other side of his septic pneumonia (a deadly form) looking better and feeling better than he had in years (only Dad could take a running slide toward the Abyss and come out healthier). He's continuing his rehab at a local gym and is strong and quite...well, alive! He went back to visit the rehab center where he stayed for two months. They simply didn't recognize him. He's gorgeous!

In the midst of all this, I found a mole that was getting very large and a very...weird (its own technicolor mole show). When I pointed this out to my doctor, he immediately produced a set of scalpels and started hacking it off (with clear margins to make sure he got it all). Then, off it went for biopsy.

Um, yay....*

Listening to him worry aloud whether it was a nasty skin cancer (I'm Black, people! Mighty melanin protect me!), I just didn't think I could deal with anything else this year--I'd already weathered the one-two punch of Dad's major illness and Garland's heart treatment. Then Dr. Park, still suturing up my leg, said "If it's nothing, you'll know. If it's something not so good, you'll deal with it. That's what you do."

It was that statement that left me with tears in my eyes. No matter now much got heaped on, how the illnesses of these important men in my life left me with a business with no actual business and work I'd never thought I'd need to do, I was there: battling for their health and wellness for over a quarteryear with all the love and hope I had when others had given up.

I'm rebuilding my business. I'll be straight with all of you. And it's not the most fun I've ever had, but like Dr. Park indicated about my dealing with the possibility of cancer, I'll get through it.

Like he said: That's what I do.

I'm carefully considering what (and who) I want to let back in and where I've been tolerating business deals that made money but no sense. I'm making sure that I re-invigorate my business with only the elements that give me a chance to use my SuperPowers (more on that later) and see others use their mutant powers for the forces of good.

I recently saw the Broadway production of The Color Purple. My stepdaughter is in it. She lives by her passion for music and dance and doesn't let anything else get in the way of that passion--not even her own "sensible" voice that says "make sure you have a fallback plan."

I adore that about her.

I've also stopped bullshitting about my well-being. No more pretending that I'm ever too busy to eat or work out or get a good (read: complete) night's sleep. Dad said I had to: "We can't take care of you as good as you take care of us!" Sweet man!

You'll be hearing more from me as I pick up my pace. Some of it will really shame me to admit (like that I top the scales at over 180 pounds). Other stuff will be easier (I've booked lots of speaking engagements, added two new clients and my podcast is expanding). I'll want to convince you that I'm really talented and that this was just an unavoidable circumstance I had to deal with (when you hear that, know that I'm just scared or tired or worried). I want to see how my sharing with you, openly and generiously about the truth of where I'm at, can add value to your business day. And then some days I won't want to talk with you at all.

See what you can get for yourself.

Now, I'm going to have at it!



Anonymous said...

Wow, woman! Thanks.